Dear Dogs of Wisdom,
Why do dogs have to lay all over everything I want to sit or lay on? My dog seems to think that everything of mine belongs to him? Is this true?
Callie:
If you sit on it, does it officially belong to you? Absolutely yes.
Ownership is established by contact. Fluffy Butt contact, specifically. The moment my royal feathers touch a surface, the universe records it as mine. Couch? Mine. Fresh laundry straight from the dryer? Mine. The exact spot you were about to sit? Tragically… now mine. This isn’t selfishness. It’s science. Energy transfers through fur. I leave my essence behind. You wouldn’t move a historical landmark, would you?
Cody:
Just because you sit on something doesn’t mean you own it. Sometimes it means you found it first. Sometimes it means you were closer. Sometimes it means you have faster legs and no moral compass.
I have looked at lots of things before Callie sat her fancy ass feathers on them. I got inspired. I had plans. Dreams. A future. Then she plops down like a decorative pillow, and suddenly it’s “claimed. “That’s not even fair. That’s just aggressive lounging.
Callie:
Fairness is a human concept. Dogs deal in destiny.
If you hesitated, it wasn’t meant to be yours. I don’t rush — I arrive. Big difference. If I sit, it’s because fate guided me there. You should respect destiny, Cody.
Cody:
Destiny always seems to guide you directly onto the softest thing in the room. Funny how that works.
I think ownership should be earned. Shared. Negotiated. Maybe we rotate. Maybe we take turns. Maybe we don’t treat furniture like a game of musical chairs where you win every round.
Callie:
Rotation sounds exhausting.
Also unnecessary.
Look… if you can sit on it and you don’t, that’s a choice. And choices have consequences. Like me owning your future seat.
Cody:
So… does sitting on it mean it officially belongs to you? Technically? According to Callie’s legal system — yes.
According to my idea— no.
And according to Her Royalty, I mean reality — I’ll be sleeping on the rug again.
Dogs of Wisdom Conclusion:
If you sit on it with confidence, intention, and a slightly judgmental face — it’s yours.
But if you have to ask if it’s yours… it probably already belongs to Callie.
We Are,
Callie Roo and Cody too
Callie’s Rhinestone Diamond Glitter Puppy Necklace
