Dear Dogs of Wisdom, why do you roll in dead things? Seriously. Dead fish, dead frogs, dead whatever-that-used-to-be. What’s the deal?!”
Callie’s Response (Her Highness, Callie Roo Khaleesi):
First of all, let’s get one thing straight: I do not roll in dead things because I enjoy smelling like rotten zombie meat. I am far too refined for that. I do it because it guarantees me a trip to the spa. My shampoo costs more than your rent, darling. The eucalyptus-lavender blend, with a hint of bergamot? Mmmmmm. If covering myself in eau de roadkill is the price of admission for another luxurious salon bath, then hand me the nearest squashed possum.
So yes, it’s strategy. Call it self-care. Mental emotional and physical well-being all depend on a good dose of stink. Besides, Mom looks really cute when she’s mad! Cody’s in it for the fun though. hey Cody, you listening?
Heh. Dead stuff is funny. You roll in it, and the humans start screaming and chasing you around the yard. Then you sploot mid-run so they trip over you. Best game ever. Sometimes they even say invent cusswords I’m not supposed to know, but I learned them. I win.
Fancy shampoo makes us smell like flowers. Dead raccoon makes us smell like a warrior. Don’t question the system.
Final Wisdom:
Callie rolls in dead things to upgrade her beauty regimen. Cody does it because for entertainment purposes. Either way, the humans end up wet, muddy, and regretting every life choice that led to dog ownership.
Dogs of Wisdom Verdict:
If it’s dead, roll in it. Because:
Baths = spa days (Callie).
Screaming humans = comedy gold (Cody).
Remember: It’s not misbehavior, it’s entertainment and spa days.
Your All knowing Scribes,
Callie Roo and Cody too
